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Hello Fellow Humans

[Justification is labelled on the drawing. Text reads:] A HEAVENLY FIELD GUIDE TO APPEARING HUMAN ON EARTH IN THE 21ST CENTURY WITH EXAMPLE ATTIRE: [2021 party headband] It is typical at certain times of the Earth year for humans to wear adornments on their heads telling them what year it is. By donning one of these, you will both fit in among humanity, and have a reminder should you be unable to recall the current date. [Monocle] It is common for humans wear pieces of glass suspended in front of their eyes. However, as this may interfere with your optical processing, we believe the best compromise is to cover only one eye with a glass pane. [Facemask] There is presently a pandemic on Earth, you must wear a facemask or humans will think you’re a dick. [Ties] Most modern humans habitually wear pieces of fabric tied around their neck to assert their importance and authority. The more vibrant and complex the pattern, the greater the level of authority engendered. We suggest acquiring as many of these items as possible. Note: it is not appropriate to use other humans’ fabric ties as leashes – this is apparently not the intended purpose. [Towel] Human beings are unable to use miracles to avoid the weather of the Earth, so you may have to let your corporeal form get wet in order to blend in*. As a famous human once advised, you should always keep a towel near to you for situations such as this. *This is especially true for those beings posted to the following areas: England, Wales, Scotland, and Ireland. [Hello My Name Is sticker] Please wear a sticker with your designated Human Name at all times, for the benefit of other humans and to aid your own recall. This should be applied to the upper torso. [Armbands] Humans have a remarkable ability for locomotion within bodies of water. As you, an angel, have not learnt this ability, and the planet of Earth is 2/3rds aquatic, armbands should be worn at all times. [Nipple covers] Many humans are innately afraid of the appearance of mammary glands on others of their species. Please check your registered Human Gender Presentation to see if your mammary glands should be covered for the humans’ own safety. [Wristbands] Festival wristbands let everyone know you attend music performances like a normal human. All humans are delighted to hear about your music performance attendances, so you should tell them at every opportunity. NEVER remove the wristbands under any circumstances. [Tartan jeans] Humans are never without a pair of leg coverings called jeans. In fact, it may be harmful for their lower body to be removed from the ‘jeans’ at any point. Additionally, our chief agent on Earth informs us that the fabric known as ‘tartan’ is considered ‘stylish’ by all humans. Therefore, you will be supplied with ‘jeans’ in a ‘tartan’ fabric to fit into human society and protect your corporation. [Crocs n socs] The most versatile style of human foot covering in the present millennium are known as Crocs. These will be supplied to you for use in all occasions, although you may choose your desired colour. Socks must be worn at all times to protect your delicate human body’s feet from frostbite.

Sarah (@sarahissoftnow)

Sarah (@sarahissoftnow)

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