I urgently need a transference back to Heaven from my assignment on Earth please. I was tasked with learning some more about the humans and their Earthly dwellings for reconnaissance purposes, when I stumbled across a place called eye-kee-yah.
I believe this may be a dastardly trap set by the opposition!
I have now been trapped in this hellscape for threescore Earthly days and have yet to find my way out! My miracles do not seem to affect this strange liminal space, and any attempt to ask the humans residing within for aide are met with blank, lifeless stares. They must all be possessed! Clearly this is the work of demons.
If you could see fit to recall me back upstairs and re-assign me elsewhere at your earliest convenience, I would be much obliged.