Dear Hellish Masters, may I present to you a leaf out of the demonic guide to making disastrous scones that will increase the misery and frustration of humankind many times over. Made predominantly from a dodgy recipe and the souls of the damned these scones will cause hours of tears and recriminations in households across the land. They crumble at the touch and are impossible to butter. They manage to be both pale and slightly overbrown. They contain creepy faces and manage to be both tasteless, light and yet somehow dry and cloying getting stuck in the fangs. Truly i feel this is some of my worst- and therefore best- hellish work to date.