DEMON S’GONES (Finally putting to rest the age old question of how to pronounce it!) 3 cups of dandruff 1 cup of phlegm 1 cup of mixed flies and rat droppings (Beelzebub and Hastur usually have some of these around them) 1 cup of dried fruit substitute (hardened scabs) 1/2 cup of sugar (so no-one can resist them) 1 cup of lemonade with added citric acid 1. Preheat demonic fire to ‘cremate’ 2. Place dandruff in a convenient, upturned helmet - plenty of those in Hell 3. Add phlegm, sugar, flies and rat droppings and dried scabs to the dandruff, stirring like a …well, a demon! 4. Add in the lemonade and citric acid and watch it all fizz! 5. Pour out the resultant goo onto a convenient flat surface - a lesser demon’s back for example. 6. Use a round imp to roll the goo flat then cut out shapes using the imp’s overbite 7. Place the cut out scones onto a filthy metal plate (the dirtier the better) and carefully throw all the scones into the demonic fires. 8. Watch the whole thing go up in smoke! 9. Serve your hungry, expectant demon with an empty plate and tell him / her or it that the delicious scones were eaten by their least favourite subordinate demon or superior demon, depending if you want the immediate victim to suffer or to mete out punishment to another